Yeah for Christmas?

I’m a mess too.

Yes it is that time of the year again.  Boy oh Boy!  Is it a good thing or not?  I have to let you into my heart today and say that Christmas time is always a little depressing for me.  I feel so much pressure to ” feel” happy.  I get tired around December 1st and don’t recover until it’s all over.  For real!

I know that we can make it whatever we want but I always walk around feeling a little empty inside.  I am not sure why but it happens every year.  I have tons of things to be thankful for, I have wonderful children, mostly, and “great” grand children, but the energy still drains out, and I am left feeling like I can barely crawl out of bed some days.

I use to feel guilty about feeling this way at the most ” family” oriented time of the year.  Not any longer.  I just let it wash over me knowing that it will pass.

It doesn’t help that this year they had decorations out even before Halloween.  That really pissed me off.  I know we all want more money but couldn’t they have a little respect.  Couldn’t we get through the other celebrations first before they started with the dam trees.

See what I mean.  Bah hum bug….

I know that this is a bad time of year for many, many people.  I think I read somewhere that the suicide rate is very high in December.  Please don’t let this time of year make you feel that way.  Like I said, let it wash over you and then it will pass.

Don’t take my toy.

We all think that we have to be like the folks in the movies, all happy and good cheer.  We don’t have to feel that way.  We can feel pensive.  We can feel a little depressed.  We can be sad.  But, we must let it go as well.  Don’t become a number in December.  Don’t give up just because you feel a little down.  And, if it is a little more then a moment of self pity seek help.  Talk to someone .  Go somewhere.  Find a way to change it to a better time of year for yourself.  That is what I am going to do.

I accept that I will feel a little depressed right now.  We all have our moments.  I am also going to really look at all the wonderful things that I do have that bring me ” joy.”  When I look at all the people who have nothing, who are living in camps without even a roof over their heads I feel a fool.  We are a greedy lot, those that have so much while others have so little.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am not a wealthy person by the dollar value, although I am wealthy for all the blessings that have been bestowed on me.  I do have a roof over my head, a good job, and I can afford to eat and pay my bills.  I also have a family who loves me, and a few really good friends. Everything else is just the frosting.  We don’t really need the frosting.

Saying all of this will not lift the emptiness, I know that, but it helps remind me that it will pass, and I will be content once more.  I just have to hang on.  You need to hang on too.  Don’t let the the bad feelings win over.  Stay busy, pray, talk to someone, watch lots of distracting television, read books, volunteer somewhere if you can stand being around people, and don’t lock yourself away.

Drop me a note if you want to share.  Sometimes getting it out is a relief.  Sometimes sharing your feelings without having to make excuses can be healing.  I have big shoulders.  Let it out.

Just hanging around till it’s over.

So for today, as I always say, and I mean it, have a GREAT day because you deserve it, I deserve it as well.  Peace.

If you need to talk to someone because you are feeling suicidal please call someone.  The number is 1-800-273-8255




About krissy

I am amazed by life, mostly the world of animals, nature, and things around us. People not so much. Oh, they amaze me. And, I see them. But it is the other things I reach for in a time of stress. And if I am lucky I have my camera handy..
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