Jingle bells, bah humbug. Sorry it has been a while since my last post. After all that rambling about breast cancer I sort of petered out. Ugh, I hate that term petered out! What does that even mean? It is a term from my era so I guess I’m gonna use it.
Anyway, I ran out of steam, words of the day, that sort of thing. I had some really good thoughts on something but I forgot to write them down so they floated away. Now I am digging deep to let you know that I am still out here hanging in the clouds.
Bah humbug is usually how I feel this time of year. If you’ve read my blogs from previous years you already know this. Christmas for me is just not that great of a thing. It means nothing. I feel no cheer. Actually it is a little depressing for me. Not really sure why, but as I have said in the past I’m sure it is tied into my unhappy childhood. Isn’t everything?
I walked around the great Wally world today. The holiday stuff was lovely but it just doesn’t lift me up. I see the price of everything, have been seeing it since Halloween, and it makes me sad.
Do people really feel happy at this time of year? What are they so happy about? Is it the family time? Is it the food? I know it really isn’t the gifts because most of us would just as soon buy it ourselves, after Christmas, on sale. At least I would…
I try not to let these feelings out into the open. I don’t what people to feel sorry for me. I have a lovely family but I see them all year long. Christmas is just another day. Oh wait, don’t they say it has something to do with the birth of Christ, although scholars say he wasn’t even born this time of year.
So should we be praising on high and not praising each other? There is a great Christmas carol by Amy Grant and some of the words of one of her songs touches me, and it says ” you don’t have to be a wise man on bended knee for the heart of this Christmas is in you and me.”
Do you believe that? That the heart of Christmas is really in us, and not in all the stuff for sale out there, or all the food piled on high?
Well I must agree with her. It really is in us. Sometimes we have to reach within ourselves to see what Christmas is really about, to see how it can matter to us.
When I let go of the bah humbug and ask myself what is this all about I realize that it is about the people we love, and the people who love us. No more, no less.
We don’t have to buy fancy gifts or fix fancy meals. We just need to feel the joy in being together, knowing we are loved, and that we love someone too. The rest is just the icing.
My grand daughters remind me everyday that they love me. Not just in words but in little notes they leave around my house whenever they come for a visit. Often after they have left I will find a note here or there. It always, always, warms my heart because they just do it. They don’t tell me, they just leave the notes for me to find.
So for this Christmas I will squash the ” bah humbug” and try to shower those I have in my life with love and words of appreciation. Those will be my gifts to them, with a few things on the side just for good measure.
It’s hard when we feel down not to wallow in it, but that never helps. We have to push through the muck and reach for the sun. What I do is listen to some really motivational music so that it will pierce the clouds hanging around me. It usually works. I do believe that I am blessed and have no need to feel down, it just strikes out of the blue and I have to fight back.
So, if you are feeling down find something to pierce the darkness. Try to see the blessings that surround you, I am sure that there are a few. Don’t let ” Christmas” and what it should mean bring you down. Make ” Christmas” what you want it to mean and have a great day.